Bewildered Expat

Winter Snow

2009-02-07T16:08:00.003+04:00

Not sure why I have come back to this after so long. Life has changed out of all recognition.
If you are wondering, I still miss the life in Abu Dhabi, the sun, the freedom, the money (especially the money) and the expat lifestyle. But, and there is always a but, there is so much more to do and experience in the UK - like snow!
I may go back again and then this blog will continue, till then who knows?

Park and Ride

2006-03-15T10:37:00.000+04:00

The latest in the “I bet they wish they hadn’t done that”. In yesterdays Gulf News there is the sad tale of a couple who fuelled by alcohol decided to have a quicky in the car.

There are a couple of things that don’t quite make sense. Why was the lawyer’s son up and around at 3:15am? Why does the sound of a horn make anyone go outside? Why did he go and investigate? Why didn’t they notice a Dishdash with a flashlight? And why did they do it in a developed area? Questions that we will never have answered. There is always more than appears in the papers.

I remember in my courting days with Mrs Dabbler finding a country lane with a quiet track and having steamy windows time. Although it was a mini, I had the sense to have an estate with the fold down rear seats. I was always aware of the surroundings and was worried about the copper with an insatiable curiosity.

I feel quite sorry for the couple who will loose their jobs, as they will be deported, probably have difficulty explaining to friends what happened and will regret it for the rest of their lives.

Never forget that this is not a Western country and different rules apply.

No, I mustn't - Oh all right then - Houston we have a problem!

2006-02-03T23:20:00.000+04:00

Here I am in Houston. The weather is good, the food is fattening and the job is boring, boring, boring!

Her indoors is complaining I was only supposed to be here 2 weeks, my company is trying to keep me here for ever, and the work stinks. Better start the tunnel then or perhaps I should go through one of the ones from Mexico

Who invented cherry diet coke? Must have been a sadist on a diet. I have always disliked cherries since I was a child and got given lots of medicine smelling and sort of tasting of cherries - but always with an aftertaste of earwax or bitters. If you were unlucky these would be combined. There must be a whole generation of English kid put off cherries for life. Obviously didn't happen in the US coz cherry seems to be a popular flavor(sic).

I am working with a bunch of Spaniards. In Houston you have breakfast at 7am, lunch at 12 and dinner at 6:30 or 7pm. The restaurants start to close at 10:30. The Spanish are just about ready to go out for a meal then. Lunch would be around two or 3pm when the lunch places are closed. Can't be enough Mexican influence here or do they also eat food early?

Yesterday was Groundhog Day. There was a shadow so 6 more weeks of winter. Only problem is that Phil has only been right 37% of the time. By the law of averages he should be right closer to 50% of the time. Time somebody found a better interpreter.

On my travels again

2006-01-20T03:08:00.000+04:00

Next week I go to Houston. Never been to Texas. Not sure how I will keep a straight face at George Bush airport, but I will have to!

You have a lot of Middle East stamps in your passport? Just visiting for business! Why do you have residence visas then?

Yee Haw

Dubai Dreams on BBC 2

2005-11-14T22:23:00.000+04:00

There is a series on at present on BBC 2 about Dubai. What is interesting is what they don't say rather than what they do. So far the BBC have covered the press (Gulf News not the favourite number one paper), and the housing boom. Should be interesting if they cover the seamier side of Dubai and the Emirisation of companies. Got it on tape to savour and feel homesick about later.

Yes, we are all starting to really miss the UAE. As winter starts and the snow and frost start then it will get worse.

Flying Visit

2005-10-22T16:03:00.000+04:00

I was back, again, in Abu Dhabi for a 2 day visit over Ramadan. Strange to see what has changed. I would not want the restrictions that there are in Saudi Arabia with no restaurants open in the day time and not never no booze (officially), but was surprised to see people eating and chewing gum during the day openly. The bars are also open in Abu Dhabi after 7pm during Ramadan, the first time I can remember this in a long time.

I respect the right to choose to fast or not, but if you are in a country where the majority do fast then it is poor taste to opening ignore the rules and eat. Perhaps I am over sensitive but I never would be eating in daylight in public. In fact this year as I was only over for 2 days I fasted during the day -still drank some water though, don't have the power of faith I guess.

Just after the start of Ramadan last year was shopping with a friend and they opened a drink in the Co-op and started to drink it. My cry to stop was met with I'm going to pay for it! Sometimes it is hard to remember the complete change in the rules.

Back in the UAE

2005-09-27T00:27:00.000+04:00

Over here for a business trip. Just reminded me about the things you take for granted here.

Toilet roll that are too big for the holders, so you have to gently ease them out for the first 20 or so pieces.
Salesmen that say sincerely that something is multi region when it says region 2 on the box (or yes we will have HDMI or teletext for TV's)
Taxi drivers that will take you across the city for 6 dirhams
Shortages and equally unexplained gluts of items for sale
Comforters - why? Every time I get to the airport there are TWN taking cheap comforters with them to their home country.
Ramadan Kareem and the usual rumours that the bars in Abu Dhabi will be open during Ramadan. They won't but Dubai will.
Plastic seat covers in taxis - still irritates me.
Air conditioning that works - even in 40+C
Service with a smile - and it is genuine
Pasminas for 20 dirhams - keep thinking I should export and run a car boot stall
Liptons yellow label tea. I always end up carrying some back to the UK with me. (Coals to Newcastle I hear from the back)
Medicine without prescription - why do I need to see a doctor every time I want to get a ventolin?

I miss it here, but life is just as different in the UK. But who would be interested?

Proxy and Companies

2005-07-30T11:53:00.000+04:00

There has been much press about the sacking or muzzling of employees who blog about their companies. Some of the blogs produced in the UAE have had other forms of censorship, mostly self – sections deleted and in one case proxy blocked. The power of the press and help from many admirers brought Secret Dubai back to the UAE.

I am now back in the UK, having been downsized from my job in Abu Dhabi. Tried to get into my blog at lunch time here and found it “access denied” and my attempted access would be reported to the powers that be. I will see if a couple of security guards escort me off the premises later.

Car crazy

2005-07-01T13:01:00.000+04:00

A curious system of snobbery exists with many car buyers in Abu Dhabi. Because it is not possible to see how new a car is from the registration plate as in the UK there are other ways of achieving this:
1. Keep the plastic car seat covers on
2. Keep the original export stickers from the originating country and the import stickers from Abu Dhabi.

The first leads to very hot seats and the second leads to the sad sight of faded and torn pieces of paper with date of import of 2001 or before. I have even seen the stickers left on with dark tinted windows with a piece of tint missing where the sticker is.

But - where else would you be able to drive past a used car dealer and one day see two Ferrari Enzos and the next two Maybachs. Money no object - that's Abu Dhabi. I wonder if the future Maybach owner will put plastic over the exquisite leather seats?

Inscrewtable (sic) Orient

2005-07-01T01:10:00.000+04:00

Many of the bars in Abu Dhabi have over friendly regular clientele. A little strange for a Muslim country, but interesting never the less. A mixture of ladies who are Chinese, Russian, Ethiopian and from the 'Stans. No bank accounts, no regular residences and shady "customers" leaves them vulnerable to being robbed, hurt and even gang raped. None of this ever reaches the police. Who is to blame? The hotels for getting them visas, the agents for getting them tickets, the landlords for having 10 women to a room or the women themselves for coming?

The dangers of pregnancy in the UAE for an unaccompanied woman whatever her profession who cannot prove she is married are also documented. A recent case with an airline stewardess has gone very quiet in the press. I expect she has done a runner like the Radio 1 DJ from a couple of years ago.

If you are Chinese, pregnant and single on a visit visa and have severe abdominal pain, what do you do? If you are lucky you have friends who take you to hospital and get you seen to and risk prison in Al Wathba rather than die. If you are not then you get acupuncture and a quick walk around a car park. Fear of arrest and the Government Hospital system can cause foolish decisions. Perhaps not this time, but the desert is a large place.

Why I love America

2005-06-12T18:46:00.000+04:00

Blogger – of course
They still use miles an hour, gallons and pounds weight
Gwyneth Paltrow
Frasier
The fall colo(u)rs in New England
Groundhog Days
American cars – so good I own one myself (OK so it’s German branded)
Paris Hilton – trashy but classy
The US embassy in Abu Dhabi – a stealth bomber as a building
Disney World but not Epcot
The Rockies and Death Valley
San Francisco
Lake Havasu
Muhammad Ali
Star Wars (ANH, ESB and ROTJ)
Anything called Enterprise
Groundhog Days
Have a nice day – and meaning it
McDonalds (but only in the US, somehow it’s tastier)
John B Chilton
Humphrey Bogart
Michael Connelly
A theme park with it’s own beer tasting (Anheuser-Busch)
We could have been huge – frogs and chameleons
The American flag in almost every garden or house
Motown

However I still stick to what I said about Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and to quote The Daily Torygraph:

"The movie hits a serious stumbling block, though, when the usually dependable Sam Rockwell appears. His timing's all off as vainglorious galactic president Zaphod Beeblebrox; pitched too broad and too high, the performance is a liability, and he's not helped by the lousy special effect whenever a degenerate second head pops up from under his neck to spout abuse."

Nothing about Americans in general but one in specific.

Another one bites the dust

2005-06-11T22:14:00.000+04:00

I knew it was going to happen; the signs had been there for several months. When it did happen it still wasn’t any easier. I had delayed renewing the lease on the flat as I was being told my work would go elsewhere.

I leave at the end of the month. I know that it is final as they have my passport for cancellation. Bugger.

I may put more blogs like the previous one, to counteract the idea that everything is normal here. We all self censor, because we do not want to loose the freedom we have. Perhaps we are selfish and greedy, but that is life here after all. You feel good giving the grocery packer a couple of dirhams coz it is a significant proportion of his wages and you ignore the larger injustices with the majority of workers.

On the other hand there is always a chance I can get another job here in the future, and I don’t want to screw that up!!

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

2005-06-11T22:06:00.000+04:00

Sometimes things remind me that we are not in the West and that more care has to be taken than you would expect. The case of Tracy Wilkinson highlighted this to the British recently and I have had more personal experience of this.

Under UAE law if you are involved in a road accident and there have been injuries then you will be arrested and put into prison. If you are injured yourself then you can have hospital treatment prior to be taken away. A friend of mine was doing a U-turn at some lights when a Local ran the red light and ploughed into him. Fortunately for my friend he was driving a large American 4x4 and the other driver was in a Peugeot 206. My friend got away with whiplash and some cuts but the National had a badly broken leg, fractures, and was generally not very well. It was thought that the man would loose his leg. Although my friend was innocent and even had a witness in the car with him he was locked up.

My friend is a Canadian citizen, but was born and raised in the UK. The British embassy was informed that he was in prison. Nobody from the embassy ever visited him. However, the Canadian ambassador and the Dutch ambassador (long story but boring) came to see him. His company employed a high-powered local lawyer and after 5 days he was let out of jail – on bail.

The moral of the story is don’t have a car crash with a National, if you do don’t be British, and if you are get a good lawyer!

Another friend was not quite so lucky (or rather was more stupid). After a late night Thursday session on the pop he decided to go into the office on a Friday. Setting off at about 6:30am the roads were very clear. Driving a German sports car he felt the journey would take no time at all. Reaching Mussapha, he sped over the roundabouts quickly until he came to one when a dog wandered in his path. Rather than driving over it (Arab approach) he swerved to avoid it thereby destroying his car and leaving him with shattered wrist and several broken ribs.

He was taken to hospital and blood was taken in preparation for a transfusion. This was found to have a quantity of alcohol in it. The laws here state that there is a zero limit for alcohol in the blood system. He was therefore placed under arrest. He was able to get a good lawyer who stated do not leave the hospital even if you feel OK. So he was in hospital for several weeks while the “slight problem” was being dealt with. It came to trial day and unfortunately nobody came to collect him. The police said “Right, you are well enough to go to court so you are well enough to go to prison”. A period of time in the notorious Al Wathba jail (see uaeprisons.com – but not in the proxy servered UAE) left him traumatised and unwilling to share his story except to say he would never go there again.

When the court reappearance was arranged he went to court to find the main charge was dropped and the remaining charge was of not having a liquor licence and being a resident. He was asked if he was getting one, as in “You are in the process of obtaining a liquor licence, aren’t you?” Being stupid he said no. This question was repeated and his lawyer agreed that he was getting a licence. He got away with a large fine and the time he had already spent in jail. The moral here is always know a National or reasonable faxsimile!

However the car was totally wrecked and the insurance refused to pay for any repairs. So minus 160,000 dirhams!

Etihad and other problems?

2005-05-26T14:46:00.000+04:00

The joy of the internet and lounges!

Stuck at Abu Dhabi airport for the second time waiting for a flight to the UK from Etihad. This time the flight had technical problems so we were all told to come back in 90 minutes and in 60 minutes food would be served in the grotty airport restaurant to keep us from starving.

We all went down to see if we could get a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly with over 100 people the queue was long, people tried to get food early and the usual chaos ensued.

Gave up and decamped to the Ghazel lounge, a haven of peace and tranquility with food, drink and no queues. OK, it cost 70 Dirhams but has to be the bargain of the airport for that. You can eat and drink like you are in the frequent flyers lounges (another large black label please) and chill out. Shame it's too early to drink (much). I have to drive the other end anyway.

Etihad are trying hard. New airline with leased aircraft but mostly killer prices. You do get what you pay for at times with a schedule almost as tight as Easyjet things are bound to unravel. Had a nice letter from a Richard Bate in PR last time I flew. Better than KLM. Never had a word from them ever.

No News Today

2005-05-15T18:05:00.000+04:00

The employment market here is based on the use of a large number of cheap workers who come from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, The Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, Afghanistan and any other Asian country with a Muslim population. On the whole this works well because most people earn enough here to sent money back home to support their families and other relatives. I once had a talkative taxi driver who told me that by being here he was able to send two of his children to university and they were now a lawyer and a doctor, something he never would have managed by staying at home. Others own villas and farms back home and have done well for their relatives.

There is always a however in any tale like this. There are many people who pay relatively large sums of money to come here, taking out loans in the process, and arrive and find that they work for months, even years and their employer does not pay them. The Government here is attempting to stop this happening, but has not as yet been very successful.

There is another group of people who come here and either don’t like their jobs or only come on visit visas or enter illegally and these are a group used for casual labour, car washing and “Shifting”**. Some help with paper deliveries

My paper man normally risks his life moving between the cars at the local set of traffic lights. Several people at all the traffic lights in Abu Dhabi stand around in the morning attempting to get you to buy whatever periodical they have. This morning there was nobody at my set of lights or any other. Finally got a look at a paper at lunchtime and found in small print a ban on the sale of newspapers and other publications at traffic signals, roundabouts and intersections across the country came into effect today. Dubai had banned the selling about two years ago. Thought this was based on the dangers to the people selling stuff, but no, it was to “correct wrong practices to maintain the civilised image of the country”. Forget safety, it looks bad to have street hawkers.

As usual they get rid of one system without putting anything else into place. Have to see if the local corner store will get Gulf News in for me in future.

** Shifting is the term used when you want something moved e.g. furniture shifting, office shifting. When you move you shift flats.

You say Dhabi and I say Darby!

2005-05-08T20:34:00.000+04:00

Abu Dhabi always seems to live in the shadow of its more famous neighbour, Dubai. It doesn't help that the names are similar. Many people think that they are one and the same place. It confuses further that the airport here is Dhabi International Airport and the other Dubai. I have had conversations with people from the UK who I tell I live in Abu Dhabi and they then reply, “So how is Dubai”. After a while you give up and say “Very nice, you must visit some time”. I wonder if that is why I have heard people talking about living in Abu Darby.

The development of Abu Dhabi has never been as quick as that of Dubai and this has pluses and minuses. The traffic volume is much less bad, although the driving standards are equally atrocious. The accommodation is much harder to find at reasonable rent (Dubai uses Sharjah as a commuter town). The nightlife is less exciting, but is more approachable. Abu Dhabi had allegedly the largest flag in the world but Dubai had the largest flagpole. Dubai has the Burj Al Arab and Abu Dhabi now has the Emirates Palace Hotel, different but similar.

One of the problems for Abu Dhabians has been that nobody knows (or cares) that Abu Dhabi is the Capital. Everyone else in the world thinks Dubai is in charge (I won't get political in this blog). They were going to host the GCC (Gulf Co-operation Council) conference here last year. All of the road signs in Abu Dhabi and the surrounding countryside – sorry sand-side – were changed to read “Abu Dhabi – Capital of the UAE” in English as well as Arabic. This meant that you struggled to read them due to the smaller text size. I note that this has been changed back again now. A bit sad because it was always good for a laugh.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

2005-05-07T18:00:00.000+04:00

I was back in the UK for last week for a wedding. Got the opportunity to see the film version of the Douglas Adams book that has just come out there. It was a pleasant change to not have mobile phones going off all the time, loud conversations in Arabic and small children who cannot understand the film mewling all the time – not to mention the Arabic sub-titles. Not so pleasant to have no air conditioning and very expensive ticket prices.

The film has large elements of the book, radio series, record, TV show etc. but has too many Americans (more than 1) and an obligatory happy ending.

Still, I think that Douglas would have approved.

When it reaches the UAE, who knows. Films tend to be here for only one or two weeks, partially because there are fewer viewers here and partially because we get Indian, Philippine and some Sri Lankan movies together with the Arabic ones. Why don’t we get English sub-titles for Arabic films? They can’t all be that bad.

Censorship is in the news today. I wonder if any of it will be censored. It seems to be quite random. Got Meet the Parents on video a while back. There was one scene that was missing (pool scene) and made a total mess of the next 15 minutes. However when it appeared on local TV the missing part was there.

I do, however, miss the 9pm watershed for children’s programs from UK TV. Violence is OK at any time of day here. Crazy!

Toilet seats - the clean version

2005-04-19T18:10:00.000+04:00

One of the joys of Abu Dhabi is that shops selling similar goods tend to be located in the same area of town. There is a cloth and tailoring area, a computer area and even a florescent shop lighting area. As the smaller shops disappear due to the buildings being knocked down this will change unfortunately.

The shops selling plumbing, electrical and tools are along Najda (Um El Nar Street). The only other place that sells this sort of stuff is called Ace (One store, many lifestyles). The shops along Najda sell as cheap as possible, with questionable quality and often fake parts, there are no fixed prices, and they will look at your racial type and charge accordingly. Ace is an American company and sells branded goods at European prices, and specialises in camping equipment for people (you know who you are) that like sand in their beds.

When one of the toilet seats in my apartment broke I needed to get a replacement. The one that was there had already been replaced at some time and was undersized. I knew what size it should be as the other loo was still on the original seat. It would have been pointless talking to the maintenance people for the building. Not only do they not speak English but they would have cobbled something together from the broken seat and said it was ‘fixed’.

I went down to Ace to get one from there, as I was sure I had them there some months ago. After looking around the entire store I was forced to ask the only assistant in the shop if they had seats. He looked at me as if I was mad and stated they stopped stocking them a few months ago. No point in asking why. It just is and there is often no logic in what or why.

Steeling myself I headed down to the DIY Souk. After the first couple of shops I realised I was on a hiding to nothing (aka was not getting anywhere). They would produce the same small and thin seat, look at me, and ask for 40 dirhams. I asked for a toilet seat of the right size in a third shop and they said they would look into it (Carry On at your Convenience moment there). They took my name and number and arranged to phone me back. They never do. You know they won’t and so do they but numbers must be exchanged and promises made.

I did what every good Englishman does, gave up, and went to the bar. A brainwave followed. Phoned Mrs. Dabbler and gave her the dimensions. A short trip to B&Q later, problem solved, seat packed in the luggage waiting to come to the UAE. Shame she wasn’t stopped at the airport, would have liked to see the Customs mans faces.

Now I have a wonderful warm wooden work of art from DIY.com. But I’ll still loose the deposit on the flat when I move!!

Back to (ab)normal

2005-04-18T21:30:00.000+04:00

Mrs Dabbler was here for the last 2 weeks. After fetching, carrying, shopping and otherwise spending money, I am back to being on my own again.

A variation on a theme.

You know you have been in the UAE too long when:

* You think the best time to cross the street is at midnight, dressed completely in black, holding hands with your entire family.

* You no longer wait in line but go immediately to the front of the queue,
which can sometimes be one deep and three thousand wide.

* You stop at the bottom of an escalator to plan your day.

* It becomes exciting to see if you can get onto a lift before anyone can
try to get out.

* It is no longer surprising that the only minute made at a meeting is the
time and place for the next meeting.

* You rank the decision-making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply 'Up to you!'

* You no longer wonder how someone who earns 2000 Dhs per month can drive a brand new Mercedes.

* Your Mercedes has leather upholstery but you still keep the plastic covers the car was delivered with on.

* You accept the fact that you must queue to get a number for the next
queue.

* You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is
'broken' and will cost 'a lot' of money to get it 'fixed'.

* You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage from
the overhead lockers whilst the plane is making it's final landing
approach.

* A T-bone steak with rice sounds just fine.

* You believe everything you read in the newspapers.

* You regard traffic signals, stop signs and fake watch peddlers with equal
disdain.

* When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English you no longer
wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller.

* You regard it as part of the adventure, when the waiter repeats your
order exactly but the cook makes something completely different.

* You have more knickknacks than your grandmother.

* You are no longer surprised when three men with a ladder arrive to change
a light bulb.

* You understand all the above

Proxy servers

2005-03-21T14:58:00.000+04:00

The entire Internet system under the strange and inconsistent control of the monopoly Etisalat runs through a proxy server, which is a single inlet for information from the rest of the world. It is sometimes fun to see what sites are banned and therefore inaccessible. The theory is that all sites with political and sexual content, which are not in line with Muslim thinking, would be unavailable. What actually happens is that there are trigger words that cause a site to be banned. Don’t have a problem with banning sex sites, and it is very good when you have children in the house, but can be frustrating at times. When Vin Diesel was in the film xXx (sic) there was an accompanying web site. Mr. Diesel may not be the best actor in the world, but the site didn’t deserve to be blocked. Could be that XXX is normally associated with X-rated sites. The site became available eventually. Wreckedexotics.com has pictures of badly damaged motorcars. Tried to access it from yahoo image search for a picture of a Plymouth Prowler – no it was not possible! Exotics must be too racy for the proxy server. Oh, and all sites in Israel are banned – so no planning that vacation in Tel-Aviv.

As an alternative to the use of the proxy server, some friend of ours in the UK quite proudly said that their 13-year-old son had been accessing porno sites, showing how grown up he was. Mind you, makes a change from the Freemans catalogue, women’s underwear section, of my youth.

Magic Touch

2005-03-21T14:52:00.000+04:00

The thrill of anticipation, the excitement of the review and the disappointment of the results. Yes, I have had a site meter added to the blog. The whole of HTML and java is like some form of magic to me. I know that it exists; I know it is an illusion but I don’t know how it works. (Poor analogy but best I could do)!

It brings you back to earth when you realise that unlike Scary Duck Blog (not scary and not a duck) I am probably the only one accessing the account (sad git).

Raining Again

2005-03-19T14:35:00.000+04:00

Travelling into work today and it started raining. Nothing unusual in that you might say, but Abu Dhabi doesn't get much rain especially in March. I put it down to global warming and all the trees planted by the last ruler of the Emirates.

The drivers aren't used to rain and the cars don’t have good wipers as the rubber perishes quickly in the heat. Still it’s good fun to watch all of the minor crashes due to travelling to close and slippery road.

Concert in Dubai

2005-03-05T21:43:00.000+04:00

Mark Knopfler

One of the advantages of being in one of the more civilised parts of the Middle East is that Dubai has started to be included in the “World Tours” for music artists. Also since the culture here is based on everything last minute you can get tickets until almost the last day before the show. Unfortunately Abu Dhabi only gets the smaller and less popular performers. Mark Knopfler came to Dubai on Thursday so a group of us went in a minibus from Abu Dhabi.

The show was put on outside in the grounds of the Media City in an artificially created amphitheatre. The performance was brilliant, the sound and video system professionally put together, the stage not so far away as to be invisible and the weather not too hot or cold. They even managed to get the right number of people with no overcrowding and no big empty spaces. He perfomed many of the old classic like Romeo and Juliet and Telegraph Road together with a few new songs. This was two hours of quality entertainment.

There always has to be at least one bitch at any event. The catering and licensed bars were a disaster! The queue of drink was at least 40 minutes. That was before the system broke down completely and people starting ignoring the queue and just pushing in. The Level 42 concert in the same venue had about 6 bars with a lot fewer people. Much more profit could have been made and more satisfied punters watered. Still it kept the toilets free.

The bus journey there and back was also a farce. I’m five foot ten inches tall so about average height. Of the eleven people in the bus 4 men were over six foot three and 2 of them were wide as well. The bus was designed for smaller framed Indians and Pakistanis so it was rather a squeeze. We vowed to get a larger van next time. The 50-minute traffic jam to leave the area can only hint at the absolute chaos to come when the Jumeirah Lakes is finished. Let the buyers beware!

Cyclists

2005-01-31T13:07:00.000+04:00

The UAE has one of the highest death rates per capita in the world. This is not strange considering the standard of driving here. Much has been written about the lack of lane discipline, the ignoring of red lights, the overtaking on the inside and the excessive speeding. Little seems to have been mentioned about the cyclist.

The cyclist here bears slight resemblance to the Lycra clad, helmet wearing Western model. It is more likely to be an elderly Indian or Pakistani man with newspapers or food. The norm is to ignore traffic signals and then to cycle the wrong way down a dual carriageway in the outside lane. This is to avoid the articulated lorries that never notice bicycles but are stuck in the inside lane**. Lights are unheard of and helmets non-existent. The scariest cyclist I saw was travelling the wrong way on a motorway bridge in the outside lane with a large number of plastic pipes slung across the back of the bike – sideways.

The bikes themselves are a marvel of low-tech engineering. Cable brakes are unknown, rods are used, and frames are made of heavy-duty iron with three crossbars for carrying people and goods. Stickers stating "Made in Pakistan" or "One speed" are on Super Deluxe machines in green or black.

I am always amazed that so few of them are killed, or perhaps it is just that they never make the news.

**M42 please note – if lorries leave the inside lane and are caught the drivers are jailed, loose their jobs and are deported.

Why?

2005-01-30T23:00:00.000+04:00

For some time I have been meaning to try and write down thoughts from my time as an "expat". This should have been started over 2 years ago when I first came to the Middle East. Everything was new, exciting, interesting and scary. Now most things are common place, ignored and forgotten.

The first few days in a country that is very different from your own are confusing and so stimulating you don't want to sleep in case you miss anything. Even the call to prayer at 4:30am is a novelty.

In trying to recapture some of the things that are strange, it will perhaps bring some of the memories and the bewilderment back.